Wreck This Journal Video 1

Wreck This Journal Video 1


Is the price of the material worth it?

And I wonder what should I do?

I keep fooling, following

the others before me

that further confuses me

I see this black smudge

on one’s pink page

And question if I should

use blue?

And one person’s straight,

small line,

are just child’s swirling patterns

when done by the unknown hand

And one’s few words

cut up sentences

their sentence

is just raving and complaining

when your file is thin

And presenting a white page

One line

hailed as masterful and genius

And the piss Christ-

created flaming hearts of rage in devout crowds

But would be sheer laziness,

if a grant wasn’t written

and I didn’t have funny hair,

and I didn’t howl at the moon,

when it was gone

Because the truth is

they can’t tell you

how they know

it’s any good

The same question: ” What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Honestly, what do I want to be? What do you want to be? I had so many expectations and dreams of what I would become and have seen so little of it manifest. I am lost and I wish I knew what to do. Would career counselling be the answer? I’m in Uni, but even there, I feel lost everyday. I’m not sure if I’ll amount to anything. I am asking anyone who reads this blog to please give me some advice. I don’t know what to do and I want to hear what others have done. Thank you.

What’s going on lately and starting a Mad art group?

Yes, I’ve been away for a REALLY long time.

As of last month, I’m back in Toronto and attending university here. What was a nice bonus was I earned a Higher Education Diploma from my Uni in England for successfully completing 2 years out of 3. So it wasn’t all for naught. I’m back in U of T, here to finish the full degree.

I’m just trying to get back into art, but properly, and I have been coming up with ways to make it more community based. I was thinking a gathering of mad girls and boys (you know who you are 😉 ) that would meet up to sketch and talk and simply have fun. Maybe even connect online with others who can’t meet up in the real world, they can join us in the virtual world. If anyone is interested, send me a message.

Life now

I want to jump off a bridge and just sink into the sea. I am being a showy little bitch because I feel so alone. I just want someone to talk to and someone to help me. But I should face the fact that there is no rescue. Years of therapy and drugs and I always wind up back in the same place, hating my life and hating myself and not doing what I truly want because I don’t know what I want.

Why do I have to exist? Tumblr post